The Chanting Typist: Pick Yourself Up, Dust Yourself Off

Recently I had the experience of starting up a couple of new businesses that at the time felt like they were really good ideas ~ I wanted to pursue my dreams ~ One was to become a party planner, the other was to open up an evening gown store with my daughter. These were not just whims I was going through, I was following my heart. It was time for a change and I needed to discover what it was that I would be happiest doing. In order to figure that out, I would have to leave my comfort zone. As it turned out the evening gown store didn't really take off and I decided I wasn't cut out for planning parties. These baby steps, as I look at them, are all part of figuring out what it was I really wanted to do; part of my growing process.

Let me back up just a bit. Prior to going after those two ventures, I had gone from being a 10-year legal assistant to running a legal transcription business successfully for 5 years, followed by a two-year hiatus during which time I decided to go back to school and earn a certificate in Hospitality Management because I thought I wanted to work in special events coordinating socials and big parties. It's important to mention that in those last two years I went through a lot of ups and downs, emotionally, mentally and spiritually, while I mulled over all the things I had accomplished . . . and had lost. I came face to face with the realization that I made decisions which had affected every moment and shaped every circumstance in my life to this very day, good and bad. The BIG fall for me actually happened when my transcription business literally went out of business from one day to the next. I received an email from my major client notifying me that they would no longer be using my services. And just like that, I was out of business. Everything I had worked for till that day quickly dissipated. I should have seen the pot boiling before all the liquid had evaporated into thin air. You live and learn, and this was going to be one huge learning curve for me. It took several hard-learned lessons to finally teach me how to take responsibility for my actions. Now it was time to pick myself up, dust myself off and start all over again (I hear Sinatra singing in my head).

People who knew me from before my great big fall, knew me as the person who didn't take no for an answer and I didn't take advice from anyone. I followed my will and did as I deemed fit. Being the Capricorn that I am, it's no surprise. So when I fell from the height of my so-called success, my ego was perched high above the clouds ever so clueless that I had used up all my opportunities to change my ways and the sun was about to set on my day. The ride back down was fast, furious and the spirals came so quickly that it pretty much seemed like a straight downward free-fall. When I hit the ground, I was down for the count. Think birdies and stars circling my bumped up head. It felt like I had been crushed to pieces. It was pretty hard to digest all of this at first, then it was really hard to face, and now it's an experience that has helped me draw wisdom from the err of my ways and gave me the strength to -- I repeat -- pick myself up, dust myself off and start all over again; and if you've been there, you can relate to how difficult this could be.

I found out (the hard way) that it's all about how you play the game . . .

When I think about the road to following my dreams, I see it as kind of like that Candy Land game we used to play as kids. You go through the sugar coated paths picking up gumdrops and lollipops as you whisk by your opponent, but not without the risk of going through Queen Frostine's mountain or getting stuck in Molasses swamp. Every now and then you may even find yourself losing a turn. Unlike the game, however, in real life if you happen to pay attention to the voice of reason and the heart of wisdom, you may be able to save yourself from self-destruction. I've come to realize that in real life there is always a window of opportunity to get out before you lose it all -- sort of like the game when you choose a card that brings you out of the swamp and you zoom to the finish line. But if you miss it, like I did, in order to recover from the loss, it's always best to choose to look on the brighter side because at least now you have a first-hand look at what not to do EVER again.

Ah...but between the self-destruction and pulling yourself back up on your feet, what do you do to garner the strength for that? It's a decision you have to make whether you want to sink or swim. The latter is always better. I was always told that it was better to have tried and failed than to never have tried at all and there's a lot of truth to that. In order for me to believe that though, I had to go through a period of growth and self care.

Here's how I got myself from there to where I am now . . .

BE KIND TO YOURSELF

In order to be kind to YOU, one needs to be able to love themselves. If you're having a hard time loving yourself, start by liking yourself again. Engage yourself in things you enjoy, things that make you smile, things that tap into your feel-good emotions. For awhile all you did was focus on the climb because you wanted to achieve that dream, and when it didn't turn out how you expected it would, you lost yourself. Now you're thinking about starting over, so be nice to you this time around by making you first. Not in a selfish kind of way, but in ways that let you notice how good life could actually be when you learn to make yourself smile again. Instead of focusing on the outcome and losing yourself in it, focus on being kind to you; making this dream come true, after all, is meant to bring you happiness.

NURTURE YOURSELF

Look outside of this physical world, connect to the divine within you and all answers, all direction, all guidance will be provided for you to upload into your being and enable yourself to create once again. Feed yourself with positive words, and remove yourself from all the negative talk and criticism of your past feat. Remember, it's in the past now.

HEAL YOUR WOUNDS

You are a creation that grows and evolves. You have been given all you need in this body within which you reside to be able to navigate through life during the best of times and during the most difficult of times. You behold a "magic wand" within your reach; look for it outside this physical, material world. Let yourself be guided by your senses and you could begin to improve your life. Take care of your physical body as well as your emotional self. It's going to be a process so give yourself time to heal. (Think: balanced chakras).

FORGIVE YOURSELF

This one is pretty tough, I'll be the first to admit. Lots of times we find ourselves believing we did nothing wrong -- it was everything else around me that went wrong, the Universe has it in for me, or some other person made this happen to me. Although, it doesn't matter what we blame or who we blame, it still weighs heavily on us all the same. The burden of carrying all that resentment, disappointment and frustration towards another person or an event is no easier than if we placed it on ourselves. Either way, you're carrying it. Forgive yourself by saying, "I'm sorry for all that weight of guilt and pain I made my self carry, regardless of where I picked it up, because I no longer wish to feel this way. I no longer allow myself to feel anything negative as it pertains to this situation." And when you take your power back and decide you no longer allow a situation or another person to weigh you down with hurtful feelings, all that weight falls off from you and you have forgiven yourself.

And last but not least (here it goes again) . . .

PICK YOURSELF UP, DUST YOURSELF OFF

It's time to start all over again with a new dream, or an old one, but with a better outlook and a different approach all the while keeping a positive attitude no matter what shows up for you. The road will be bumpy, but don't let those bumps discourage you from following your dreams. When you encounter a situation that is difficult instead of looking at it as an obstacle think of it as a fork in the road -- it's time to make a decision. Maybe you need to deviate from the plan. Remember, sometimes our plan is not the one that is necessarily right for us. Perhaps, our old way of thinking brought us here to this place. It's time to think differently now, and to learn from past experiences. Never let yourself feel like a failure. If something didn't work out for you, look at it from all angles and figure out where you wobbled then strengthen your step for the next hurdle.

Be good to YOU, and let those dreams lead you to where you are going to be happy, doing what you love.

You'll never find out if you give up with the first fall. Try as many things as you want. You won't know one bad dish from another until you try them all. As for me, I've had my share of sample dishes and now I'm involved with assisting others to achieve their desires all while affording me the time to do what I love most -- I get to write and I love it!