It's Always Good to Check the Price Tag

Throughout life you come across words or phrases that stick with you.  There's always that one quote or a special saying that pops up in our mind every now and again with some sort of mind altering wisdom behind it.  For me, those words of wisdom have been:

"Everything in life has a price."

As I type these six very powerful words of truth, I get goosebumps -- it happens all the time I am reminded of these words.  I still remember the first time I heard the aphorism.  I was 17 years old.  And I was crying, hurt and angry.  I was being accused of something I had not done, but had done before -- just not on that particular day.  It so happens THAT, on THAT particular day, THAT I was being accused of something, THAT yes, I had done before, I really hadn't done it.  I had chosen to do the right thing that day, and how cruel and unreasonable, I thought, that I should be punished rather than be commended for my honorable behavior.

Well, you know the old adage about crying wolf so many times, the day you do really mean it, no one is going to believe you.  That was me.  I was telling the truth, but I wasn't being believed because I had already done it so many times.  In my mind however, I was being punished for something I didn't do! And I didn't understand it! So I was in my bedroom, crying on my bed, feeling oh-so-sorry-for-myself.  Violins playing to the melodramatic tune of:  How unfair life was with me.  I couldn't help but to think:  I may as well have done it, I was being punished for it anyway!

Then she walked in. She was a very kind, gentle-speaking woman in her mid-30's at the time. Even though she was very down to earth she had about her an air of grace and beauty, and she was always dressed so elegantly.  She sat down next to me on the bed and gently rubbed my arm with her hand as she asked me, "Did you do it?"  When I replied, "No. I swear I didn't." She answered back, "I believe you."  Huh?  Did I just hear right? I was confused at what those words were making me feel. I was being believed, and that was rare for me, if at all.  I cried with even more emotion when I heard she actually believed me and because of her empathy towards me. But what she said to me after that, amidst her trying to explain why I was being punished and where everyone else was coming from, awakened me to a realization that I would carry with me throughout my life from that day forward. 

Every decision you make will have it's price.  Some prices are not as hefty as others and so it's very important to weigh the cost of our choices.  I had been making choices that were adding up to a pretty hefty ticket item -- I was losing the trust of the people who I needed to love and support me.  Were my choices worth it?  No. 

I wish I could say that after my ah-ha moment on that day I lived the rest of my life making nothing but good price selections when confronted with tempting choices.  That didn't quite happen.  While I understood the magnitude of the point she was making, and it made perfect sense to me, I still continued to disappoint the people I loved and I'm pretty sure I didn't live up to their expectations most of the time.   However, it was different after that day because now every time I suffered the consequences of my mistakes, I always remembered that I had chosen to pay the price.  I always came back to that day when I was given a life lesson; words worth their weight in gold. 

Interestingly, I stumbled  upon a similar reflection many years later which refers to our thoughts as currency and to be mindful of how we spend our thoughts.  Would you walk into a store and buy junk that when you took home with you would be useless and serve to only create aversion in your own living space? That is how we should look upon our every day use of our thoughts -- do not waste them on things that do not serve your highest good. 

Think of your thoughts as currency when making a decision.  Is it worth paying the price shown on the price tag? 

I believe that those ah-ha moments happen to us when the time has come for us to take notice of a lesson we must learn. Perhaps one that we keep repeating over and over again and just cannot seem to pass the test.  Then, it is shown to us in a perfect dimension, at a perfect time, and within a perfect space (or frame of mind).  We may have heard the reasoning before and simply never made sense of it because the perception of a situation is one-sided until we change our mind about it -- that's when the price we pay changes, in a positive effect the price we pay becomes lower, for choosing to look at it a different way. 

Now, with hindsight, I can look back and fit the lesson perfectly in the puzzle of my life and understand in depth how precise was the price I paid for some of my actions, and for others the price paid was precisely worth it. And so it is that I carry these words in my heart and I share them with my kids, my young nieces and nephews and when given an opportunity even with friends of theirs. To me the advice was so incredibly valuable. 

Everything comes with a price tag.  The woman who shared her words of wisdom with me so many years ago probably doesn't know the impact it made in my life . . . not only on that day, but in the days and years to come as well.  She was a friend of the family, a partner and soul mate to my uncle, and an inspiration to me.   Wherever she is now I would hope that she could know just how much she meant to me -- she believed me, she understood me and she took the time to care. 

On This Note: If you have ever been graced by someone's advice and have learned a life lesson from them, make sure you pay it forward by being there for a person in need and sharing with them the gift of such wisdom you've acquired. You too could make a positive impact on someone else's life.

I hope this blog motivates at least one person to find their courage and start moving toward making their dream come true!

Please feel free to leave me a comment below and provide your feedback. I would love to hear from you.

Pick Yourself Up, Dust Yourself Off

Recently I had the experience of starting up a couple of new businesses that at the time felt like they were really good ideas ~ I wanted to pursue my dreams ~ One was to become a party planner, the other was to open up an evening gown store with my daughter. These were not just whims I was going through, I was following my heart. It was time for a change and I needed to discover what it was that I would be happiest doing. In order to figure that out, I would have to leave my comfort zone.  As it turned out the evening gown store didn't really take off and I decided I wasn't cut out for planning parties. These baby steps, as I look at them, are all part of figuring out what it was I really wanted to do; part of my growing process.  

Let me back up just a bit. Prior to going after those two ventures, I had gone from being a 10-year legal assistant to running a legal transcription business successfully for 5 years, followed by a two-year hiatus during which time I decided to go back to school and earn a certificate in Hospitality Management because I thought I wanted to work in special events coordinating socials and big parties. It's important to mention that in those last two years I went through a lot of ups and downs, emotionally, mentally and spiritually, while I mulled over all the things I had accomplished . . . and had lost. I came face to face with the realization that I made decisions which had affected every moment and shaped every circumstance in my life to this very day, good and bad.  The BIG fall for me actually happened when my transcription business literally went out of business from one day to the next. I received an email from my major client notifying me that they would no longer be using my services. And just like that, I was out of business. Everything I had worked for till that day quickly dissipated. I should have seen the pot boiling before all the liquid had evaporated into thin air. You live and learn, and this was going to be one huge learning curve for me.  It took several hard-learned lessons to finally teach me how to take responsibility for my actions.  Now it was time to pick myself up, dust myself off and start all over again (I hear Sinatra singing in my head). 

People who knew me from before my great big fall, knew me as the person who didn't take no for an answer and I didn't take advice from anyone. I followed my will and did as I deemed fit. Being the Capricorn that I am, it's no surprise. So when I fell from the height of my so-called success, my ego was perched high above the clouds ever so clueless that I had used up all my opportunities to change my ways and the sun was about to set on my day. The ride back down was fast, furious and the spirals came so quickly that it pretty much seemed like a straight downward free-fall. When I hit the ground, I was down for the count. Think birdies and stars circling my bumped up head. It felt like I had been crushed to pieces. It was pretty hard to digest all of this at first, then it was really hard to face, and now it's an experience that has helped me draw wisdom from the err of my ways and gave me the strength to -- I repeat -- pick myself up, dust myself off and start all over again; and if you've been there, you can relate to how difficult this could be.

I found out (the hard way) that it's all about how you play the game . . .

When I think about the road to following my dreams, I see it as kind of like that Candy Land game we used to play as kids. You go through the sugar coated paths picking up gumdrops and lollipops as you whisk by your opponent, but not without the risk of going through Queen Frostine's mountain or getting stuck in Molasses swamp. Every now and then you may even find yourself losing a turn. Unlike the game, however, in real life if you happen to pay attention to the voice of reason and the heart of wisdom, you may be able to save yourself from self-destruction. I've come to realize that in real life there is always a window of opportunity to get out before you lose it all -- sort of like the game when you choose a card that brings you out of the swamp and you zoom to the finish line. But if you miss it, like I did, in order to recover from the loss, it's always best to choose to look on the brighter side because at least now you have a first-hand look at what not to do EVER again.

Ah...but between the self-destruction and pulling yourself back up on your feet, what do you do to garner the strength for that? It's a decision you have to make whether you want to sink or swim. The latter is always better. I was always told that it was better to have tried and failed than to never have tried at all and there's a lot of truth to that. In order for me to believe that though, I had to go through a period of growth and self care.

Here's how I got myself from there to where I am now . . .

BE KIND TO YOURSELF

In order to be kind to YOU, one needs to be able to love themselves. If you're having a hard time loving yourself, start by liking yourself again. Engage yourself in things you enjoy, things that make you smile, things that tap into your feel-good emotions. For awhile all you did was focus on the climb because you wanted to achieve that dream, and when it didn't turn out how you expected it would, you lost yourself. Now you're thinking about starting over, so be nice to you this time around by making you first. Not in a selfish kind of way, but in ways that let you notice how good life could actually be when you learn to make yourself smile again. Instead of focusing on the outcome and losing yourself in it, focus on being kind to you; making this dream come true, after all, is meant to bring you happiness.

NURTURE YOURSELF

Look outside of this physical world, connect to the divine within you and all answers, all direction, all guidance will be provided for you to upload into your being and enable yourself to create once again. Feed yourself with positive words, and remove yourself from all the negative talk and criticism of your past feat. Remember, it's in the past now.

HEAL YOUR WOUNDS

You are a creation that grows and evolves. You have been given all you need in this body within which you reside to be able to navigate through life during the best of times and during the most difficult of times. You behold a "magic wand" within your reach; look for it outside this physical, material world. Let yourself be guided by your senses and you could begin to improve your life. Take care of your physical body as well as your emotional self. It's going to be a process so give yourself time to heal. (Think: balanced chakras).

FORGIVE YOURSELF

This one is pretty tough, I'll be the first to admit. Lots of times we find ourselves believing we did nothing wrong -- it was everything else around me that went wrong, the Universe has it in for me, or some other person made this happen to me. Although, it doesn't matter what we blame or who we blame, it still weighs heavily on us all the same. The burden of carrying all that resentment, disappointment and frustration towards another person or an event is no easier than if we placed it on ourselves. Either way, you're carrying it. Forgive yourself by saying, "I'm sorry for all that weight of guilt and pain I made my self carry, regardless of where I picked it up, because I no longer wish to feel this way. I no longer allow myself to feel anything negative as it pertains to this situation." And when you take your power back and decide you no longer allow a situation or another person to weigh you down with hurtful feelings, all that weight falls off from you and you have forgiven yourself.

And last but not least (here it goes again) . . .

PICK YOURSELF UP, DUST YOURSELF OFF

It's time to start all over again with a new dream, or an old one, but with a better outlook and a different approach all the while keeping a positive attitude no matter what shows up for you. The road will be bumpy, but don't let those bumps discourage you from following your dreams. When you encounter a situation that is difficult instead of looking at it as an obstacle think of it as a fork in the road -- it's time to make a decision.  Maybe you need to deviate from the plan.  Remember, sometimes our plan is not the one that is necessarily right for us. Perhaps, our old way of thinking brought us here to this place.  It's time to think differently now, and to learn from past experiences. Never let yourself feel like a failure. If something didn't work out for you, look at it from all angles and figure out where you wobbled then strengthen your step for the next hurdle.

Be good to YOU, and let those dreams lead you to where you are going to be happy, doing what you love.

You'll never find out if you give up with the first fall. Try as many things as you want. You won't know one bad dish from another until you try them all. As for me, I've had my share of sample dishes and now I'm involved with assisting others to achieve their desires all while affording me the time to do what I love most -- I get to write and I love it!

On This Note: If you pay attention to the signs around you providing direction, the path is sure to be a lot smoother.

I hope this blog motivates at least one person to find their courage and start moving toward making their dream come true!

Please feel free to leave me a comment below and provide your feedback. I would love to hear from you.

Starting From Scratch

Yes, it is all just scratch at first. That's where we all start when we get a new idea. Usually it's something you've been thinking of for awhile, dreaming about, role playing in your head until one day you decide "I'm going to do this." That's me. Now. Writing is my passion. Pouring my heart out is my nature. Sharing my stories in a way that will touch someone else in a positive way is my dream. Whether or not it's my calling, I'll find out sooner or later.

So, I sat down and clicked on a button for starting a blog, which led me to another screen, to another and so on until I got here. I had no idea what I was going to blog about, or how I wanted to start this.  I actually don't even know where this blog is going to take me or anyone else for that matter. I just know that I have the privilege of writing something for you, the reader, and I really hope I can come up with something fresh, something that can be related to, something that will make you laugh or smile, and something real to digest that will nourish your mind and soothe your soul. Let's face it, time is precious.  There's always something to be doing, somewhere to go.  So, when you come across something that stands out and grabs your interest, you want it to be worthwhile otherwise it becomes just another waste of your time.

Having the courage to go out and do what you want is not an attribute we all have.  Most of us have been collecting and carrying around baggage for such a long time, we're weary and leery.  Think back on the all things you've told yourself as to why you couldn't design those shoes you've been imagining, or why you can't go after that promotion at work, or why it is that you won't be able to make whatever dream of yours come true.  Truth is, we all have to start somewhere.  The idea is the start of it all.  So you want to write that book that sounds so good inside your head or become an interior designer.  You want to open up that store or restaurant; maybe it's a bar or a food truck, or a bakery or a jewelry store.  It doesn't sound so crazy when you see all these things in existence already and there are actual people doing these things.  But what makes it so unattainable to you?  Could it be that baggage you've been collecting over the years of all the put-downs and mishaps, bad decisions, insecurity, lack of support. Sounds so negative, doesn't it? Turn off that broken-hearted music taking up your mind-space and start playing to the beat of a brand new tune.

It's time to start thinking positive! Replace. No, DISSOLVE all those excuses and resistances you have by focusing on how far you have come. Focus on the people who are there to encourage you and the ones you will meet along the way.  Focus on all the different phases of your life and what you have accomplished in each of them.  By looking back at where you've been and what you did, you're able to review the outcome of those decisions you made and where they brought you to. Focus on the stuff you learned from those experiences without beating yourself up for any mistakes you may think you made along the way.  A few scrapes and bruises perhaps to the ego, but all in all you're still standing, and you're standing strong. And if you don't believe you've got the strength inside you, think again because simply by being able to visualize a dream means there is still more drive left inside you.

All it takes is a dream, a desire to make it happen, and the will to do it. Little by little . . .  you pick up a pen and doodle your design on a napkin, you jot down your idea on a Post-it note, you cut-up an old pair of jeans and turn them into sporty hot pants.   It starts with lemons until you squeeze them into a fresh, sweet delicious pitcher of lemonade. No matter how impossible it seems to be at the time, with just a little bit of energy that you put into the idea, you are already on your way to making it happen.

I have been writing in journals for as long as I can remember.  I've written poems and short stories.  I've written for other people from complaint letters to proposal letters. My writing has been posted on social networks from comment boxes to documents, sent in emails to television personalities and even recently found its way into a published book where I had the honor of writing a bit of content and provide editing. I found my courage and finally decided it was time to let my writing evolve and make my dream a reality. Yesterday a letter . . today a blog . . . tomorrow, well heck, maybe it'll be my best seller.

On This Note:  There will be bumps, I'm not sugar coating the road to making dreams come true.  My next blog will discuss how I stood right back up and dusted myself off.

I hope this blog motivates at least one person to find their courage and start moving toward making their dream come true!

Please feel free to leave me a comment below and provide your feedback. I would love to hear from you.