The Chanting Typist: To Be (Happy) or Not To Be . . . That is the Question.

If you're wondering why some people seem happier than you (or maybe there is someone you have in mind who is always so miserable), its simply a matter of how we look at things. As the saying goes: "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."

For an un-happy person, rising above the frustration, the worry, the blame, the guilt, the failure, the anger, the sadness all just seems like a very big leap to make, and hearing the words, sounding very clichè, "Think positive, things will get better" may even make it worse because those words are so overused in times of trouble and bad situations, they no longer hold value and their truth is diminished. "Easier said than done," they may think. Or is it?

All of the negative emotions described above are in fact fueled by how one thinks. These feelings arise out of how a person tends to perceive situations. If you want to prove it, next time something goes terribly wrong (in your mind) instead of bringing up all the negative emotions, catch yourself in the moment and think how you can approach it differently without the negative emotion tied to it -- breathe and separate yourself from any un-happy thoughts -- and calmly aim to resolve it or set it aside for another time when you may be more calm to find a solution. This approach invites peace, which leads to happiness.

HAPPINESS LIVES INSIDE YOU!

The reason we get entangled with un-happiness is because this is how we have been doing it for so long. It has become an automatic response. Why? Our brain has been trained to react with all the negative emotion -- so when something wrong or unexpected occurs the only way we know to face it is with the criteria we have built of attaching bad thoughts to the situation thus resulting in an un-happy experience. Rather we should contemplate approaching our selves with love, kindness and compassion in order to change the negativity in our mind. At first you might think "This is ridiculous, I'm an adult, I can handle this like an adult without coddling my emotions." But the truth is, handling it like an adult is about getting rid of all the negative-charged emotions (consider the behavior of a two-year old throwing a tantrum when they don't get what they want) and replacing them with positive-charged emotions like love, kindness, compassion, forgiveness, in order to assist you in achieving the Jump for Joy! Pretty soon, it could be smooth sailing when it comes to being eternally happy (internally).

Here are a few suggestions to becoming happy . . .

Stop expecting the worst all the time.

Even if you say you don't, lend it a thought for just a moment - if you ever anticipate outer circumstances which are out of your control may intervene with your good intention or that at the end of all your efforts something always gets in the way of your success which stops you from even attempting - this kind of thinking is expecting the worst. Replace the worst with nothing, absolutely nothing. Stop anticipating an event that has not occurred yet; for all you know, it could turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to you - let it be. (When you first practice this, things won't change over night, but you will feel more at peace with things that don't go perfect in your eyes, simply because you are not letting yourself down anymore).

It's important to take responsibility for your actions and believe that you deserve to be happy.

This means that you are in charge of your happiness, of your success, of your quality of life because how you think you should be is how you will be. Others cannot be made responsible for your outcome, only their own, because you should not allow anyone else's behavior or thinking interfere with your mind - you control your mind with a heart of your own, through a Spirit of your own that naturally is loving, kind & compassionate.

Focus on what you have and be grateful for it instead of focusing on what you don't have and making yourself miserable.

To others, you may have what they want, just like you may look at some people and think why is it they have what you don't. The list in your head should be made up of all the wonderful stuff you have - immaterial stuff, as well as the comforts that make living easier. Toss away the list in your head of what you don't have, replace it with gratitude for what you already have. If you don't have good health, maybe you have good medical care; if you don't have many friends, maybe you have a beloved pet; if you don't have lots of money, maybe you have a roof over your head and a place to rest at night; if you don't have what you consider luxuries maybe you have the love of your family. You have treasures, too, if you decide to recognize them for yourself.

Put yourself in someone else's shoes.

Have compassion & respect for all living beings, whether you like them or not. When you walk a mile in another's shoes, you get to feel how worn out they truly are. Everyone is carrying around their own baggage and we should not be weighing others down with ours. And if possible take some of the weight off them if you have already managed to make yours a little lighter. Being kind is free, you can do it with a smile, lending a hand, doing someone a favor - even if that person can't return the gesture, understand they just might be overwhelmed with all their baggage to the point of exhaustion so they aren't able to appreciate you just now, but you will certainly feel the joy of giving selflessly.

This too means being kind towards animals & to the environment - love the world you live in back, because it shows you everyday how much it loves you by its natural beauty. If you don't see the beauty of the world, then you are sadly not treating it right.

At the end of the day, you have choices to make. Keep yourself centered in the moment, and before you decide to get mad, get even or give up in frustration, think of all the possibilities out there if you simply change the emotion and choose with love, kindness and compassion - it could turn out better than you EVER expected!!