Is it Fate or is it Destiny?

     One of my favorite all time movie is one where Gwyneth Paltrow's character is divided between two scenarios which ultimately lead to the same outcome -- Sliding Doors.  The movie takes you on a train ride that relies on a one-second window of opportunity, or should I say sliding door, to either disembark or remain on her journey.  Her journey is altered by the happenstance of outer circumstances and her own choices.  When the movie ends you cannot help but to look at your own life through the clear glass panes of sliding doors.

     How do you determine what is fate and what is destiny?  I pondered this throughout my life, wondering if I should believe in one or the other, or whether such a thing even existed. Maybe life was meant to be a mystery and to question it would be sacrilegious.  I admit that I spent half of my adult life not knowing, relying on faith-based religion to answer my prayers all the while navigating through every day life on my own account and beliefs that I had acquired -- like baggage -- along the way.  That was my journey, but was there a purpose to all of this?  The burning question lingered.  Just like the movie, Sliding Doors, revealed: the outcome would be met no matter what circumstances played out. It would be better to dump the baggage and travel light.

There's a Divinity that shapes our ends, Rough-hew them how we will.
(Hamlet, 5.2) Hamlet to Horatio

     Years later, I now understand fate and destiny to be like this:  fate is predetermined and destiny is arbitrary.

     My belief is that we enter into this world to embark on a journey that is paved by the choices we make which ultimately leads us to a place of fulfillment.  We all have a destination, a fate we will ultimately face, but the experiences we enjoy, or not, while on the journey, is the destiny we create by the actions we take, the reactions we have, the choices we make...

Our wills and fates do so contrary run That our devices still are overthrown; Our thoughts are ours, their ends none of our own.
(Hamlet, 3.2.208), Player King 

     So next time you wonder whether life was supposed to happen to you this way, perhaps ponder this. Yes, you have a purpose, and you are on your way there. Was it supposed to happen like this? That, my friend, is entirely up to you.  It is the destiny which has been unraveled based on your beliefs, your decisions, your desires and your thoughts.  The outcome, good or bad, will be perceived by your state of mind at the end of your journey.  Can you credit yourself with having paved the best route possible, or could you have made a better one?  If you're reading this, clearly there is still time to reach your final destination - your fate -  onward a more scenic route - your destiny, because the latter is in your hands, the former was decided in another realm I dare say.  The map you were handed was marked with only an "X" with the rest to be filled in by you.  Many have tried to tempt the hands of fate, only to discover it is inevitable, but you do have a say in your destiny because it is marked by free-will.

     How are you going to draw the directions that get you there?  As for me, now that I am aware I can take as many trains as I want, or perhaps miss a train or two, and still fulfill my purpose in life, I'm going to pay more attention to the journey.  At the end of the journey, I will have reached my own fate but travelled the roads I chose to.  Even though you may not know right now what your fate is, pay attention to the sliding doors and try not to miss the train, or do . . . just know that whatever experience you have is being mapped out as you go along.  The final destination is in the hands of the gods, as they say.

On This Note:  Savor life with all the sweetness you encounter along the way for the bitter moments when it is no where in sight.



I hope this blog motivates at least one person to find their courage and start moving toward making their dream come true!

Please feel free to leave me a comment below and provide your feedback. I would love to hear from you.

Starting From Scratch

Yes, it is all just scratch at first. That's where we all start when we get a new idea. Usually it's something you've been thinking of for awhile, dreaming about, role playing in your head until one day you decide "I'm going to do this." That's me. Now. Writing is my passion. Pouring my heart out is my nature. Sharing my stories in a way that will touch someone else in a positive way is my dream. Whether or not it's my calling, I'll find out sooner or later.

So, I sat down and clicked on a button for starting a blog, which led me to another screen, to another and so on until I got here. I had no idea what I was going to blog about, or how I wanted to start this.  I actually don't even know where this blog is going to take me or anyone else for that matter. I just know that I have the privilege of writing something for you, the reader, and I really hope I can come up with something fresh, something that can be related to, something that will make you laugh or smile, and something real to digest that will nourish your mind and soothe your soul. Let's face it, time is precious.  There's always something to be doing, somewhere to go.  So, when you come across something that stands out and grabs your interest, you want it to be worthwhile otherwise it becomes just another waste of your time.

Having the courage to go out and do what you want is not an attribute we all have.  Most of us have been collecting and carrying around baggage for such a long time, we're weary and leery.  Think back on the all things you've told yourself as to why you couldn't design those shoes you've been imagining, or why you can't go after that promotion at work, or why it is that you won't be able to make whatever dream of yours come true.  Truth is, we all have to start somewhere.  The idea is the start of it all.  So you want to write that book that sounds so good inside your head or become an interior designer.  You want to open up that store or restaurant; maybe it's a bar or a food truck, or a bakery or a jewelry store.  It doesn't sound so crazy when you see all these things in existence already and there are actual people doing these things.  But what makes it so unattainable to you?  Could it be that baggage you've been collecting over the years of all the put-downs and mishaps, bad decisions, insecurity, lack of support. Sounds so negative, doesn't it? Turn off that broken-hearted music taking up your mind-space and start playing to the beat of a brand new tune.

It's time to start thinking positive! Replace. No, DISSOLVE all those excuses and resistances you have by focusing on how far you have come. Focus on the people who are there to encourage you and the ones you will meet along the way.  Focus on all the different phases of your life and what you have accomplished in each of them.  By looking back at where you've been and what you did, you're able to review the outcome of those decisions you made and where they brought you to. Focus on the stuff you learned from those experiences without beating yourself up for any mistakes you may think you made along the way.  A few scrapes and bruises perhaps to the ego, but all in all you're still standing, and you're standing strong. And if you don't believe you've got the strength inside you, think again because simply by being able to visualize a dream means there is still more drive left inside you.

All it takes is a dream, a desire to make it happen, and the will to do it. Little by little . . .  you pick up a pen and doodle your design on a napkin, you jot down your idea on a Post-it note, you cut-up an old pair of jeans and turn them into sporty hot pants.   It starts with lemons until you squeeze them into a fresh, sweet delicious pitcher of lemonade. No matter how impossible it seems to be at the time, with just a little bit of energy that you put into the idea, you are already on your way to making it happen.

I have been writing in journals for as long as I can remember.  I've written poems and short stories.  I've written for other people from complaint letters to proposal letters. My writing has been posted on social networks from comment boxes to documents, sent in emails to television personalities and even recently found its way into a published book where I had the honor of writing a bit of content and provide editing. I found my courage and finally decided it was time to let my writing evolve and make my dream a reality. Yesterday a letter . . today a blog . . . tomorrow, well heck, maybe it'll be my best seller.

On This Note:  There will be bumps, I'm not sugar coating the road to making dreams come true.  My next blog will discuss how I stood right back up and dusted myself off.

I hope this blog motivates at least one person to find their courage and start moving toward making their dream come true!

Please feel free to leave me a comment below and provide your feedback. I would love to hear from you.