Is it Fate or is it Destiny?

     One of my favorite all time movie is one where Gwyneth Paltrow's character is divided between two scenarios which ultimately lead to the same outcome -- Sliding Doors.  The movie takes you on a train ride that relies on a one-second window of opportunity, or should I say sliding door, to either disembark or remain on her journey.  Her journey is altered by the happenstance of outer circumstances and her own choices.  When the movie ends you cannot help but to look at your own life through the clear glass panes of sliding doors.

     How do you determine what is fate and what is destiny?  I pondered this throughout my life, wondering if I should believe in one or the other, or whether such a thing even existed. Maybe life was meant to be a mystery and to question it would be sacrilegious.  I admit that I spent half of my adult life not knowing, relying on faith-based religion to answer my prayers all the while navigating through every day life on my own account and beliefs that I had acquired -- like baggage -- along the way.  That was my journey, but was there a purpose to all of this?  The burning question lingered.  Just like the movie, Sliding Doors, revealed: the outcome would be met no matter what circumstances played out. It would be better to dump the baggage and travel light.

There's a Divinity that shapes our ends, Rough-hew them how we will.
(Hamlet, 5.2) Hamlet to Horatio

     Years later, I now understand fate and destiny to be like this:  fate is predetermined and destiny is arbitrary.

     My belief is that we enter into this world to embark on a journey that is paved by the choices we make which ultimately leads us to a place of fulfillment.  We all have a destination, a fate we will ultimately face, but the experiences we enjoy, or not, while on the journey, is the destiny we create by the actions we take, the reactions we have, the choices we make...

Our wills and fates do so contrary run That our devices still are overthrown; Our thoughts are ours, their ends none of our own.
(Hamlet, 3.2.208), Player King 

     So next time you wonder whether life was supposed to happen to you this way, perhaps ponder this. Yes, you have a purpose, and you are on your way there. Was it supposed to happen like this? That, my friend, is entirely up to you.  It is the destiny which has been unraveled based on your beliefs, your decisions, your desires and your thoughts.  The outcome, good or bad, will be perceived by your state of mind at the end of your journey.  Can you credit yourself with having paved the best route possible, or could you have made a better one?  If you're reading this, clearly there is still time to reach your final destination - your fate -  onward a more scenic route - your destiny, because the latter is in your hands, the former was decided in another realm I dare say.  The map you were handed was marked with only an "X" with the rest to be filled in by you.  Many have tried to tempt the hands of fate, only to discover it is inevitable, but you do have a say in your destiny because it is marked by free-will.

     How are you going to draw the directions that get you there?  As for me, now that I am aware I can take as many trains as I want, or perhaps miss a train or two, and still fulfill my purpose in life, I'm going to pay more attention to the journey.  At the end of the journey, I will have reached my own fate but travelled the roads I chose to.  Even though you may not know right now what your fate is, pay attention to the sliding doors and try not to miss the train, or do . . . just know that whatever experience you have is being mapped out as you go along.  The final destination is in the hands of the gods, as they say.

On This Note:  Savor life with all the sweetness you encounter along the way for the bitter moments when it is no where in sight.



I hope this blog motivates at least one person to find their courage and start moving toward making their dream come true!

Please feel free to leave me a comment below and provide your feedback. I would love to hear from you.

Time Is On Your Side

     I just finished a really important virtual assistant project yesterday. That's why this post is a day delayed.  When I received the call on Friday late afternoon from a new client that had "found" me online, I was thrilled.  While I love my clients, tried and true, new ones always pose a unique challenge and fresh opportunity.  This one would prove no different.  I took it on, rolled up my sleeves and was determined to meet the demand -- I could hear and understood how crucial it was to be able to meet the two-day, weekend deadline.  Instantly I knew the challenge wasn't about whether I could perform the task (that was a no-brainer), it was about having time on my side. 

     Time is not a physical thing, like a ticking clock.  Time, rather is all perception.  But still we have managed to create hours and minutes and past, present and future notwithstanding the use of perception and memories -- and deadlines. 

Einstein said, "Time is an illusion," as well as, "The only reason time exists is so that not everything happens at once." 

He also said, "Time is relative." 

     And in this case, it would certainly be relative to my own experience.  So, when the new client asked whether I could get it done on time, I said, "Yes."  The challenge was all relative to my perception and actually creating the time to do it.   I gave myself my own deadline, one that was hours ahead of the client's.

     As I wrapped up the loose ends and prepared the project for delivery, I took care to slowly go through all the details.  There was no rush.  I was finally done.  And I never doubted I could do it.  As the last email went through and I received the word "Sent," I gave myself a well deserved pat on the back. Well done. I was 8 hours ahead of the deadline, but right on target for mine. 

How did I manage to stay on top of it and not stress over this huge responsibility?  It was these three things: 

Focus. Inspiration. Motivation.     

     By steering my mind in line with these three things, I was able to stay ahead and make time virtually non existent.  Yes, I set goals to finish by a certain time and take breaks and have my meals, but I knew that to look at the clock and perceive time as the enemy would never have allowed me to accomplish this task.  Rather, I used my motivation to keep me going, my inspiration to make me feel good about what I was doing, and my focus to ward off distraction.  Every time I finished a set and looked at the clock (only after it was done), I was surprised to see how fast I had actually worked.  I could see that by focusing only on the project itself and diligently applying myself to the work at that moment and not thinking about the outcome, time disappeared.  Because it is just an illusion.  Time not only stretched itself out to accommodate the completion but it sped up to appear as though I had spent hardly any time on it at all.  I can say it certainly didn't feel as though I spent every night until 1 a.m. and starting up again at 7 a.m.  I was on a simple mission -- a mission to get the job done. 


     Looking back now, I see the difference in the outcome when I let stress and frustration lead the project versus calm and tranquility.  The first one invites chaos and errors, possibly even failure while the latter invites space, clarity and ease of motion.  I realize that when it comes to getting things done, it is always best to first become accepting.  In other words, if it looks like a feat, turn it into a challenge.  Once you accept the challenge you can focus on what needs to be done.  Then, find inspiration in what your doing.  Are you helping someone, are you bringing a solution, are you creating positive change?  When you work from a place of service and can genuinely see how your efforts improve upon the things or people around, you enjoy what you are doing.  Lastly, allow the underlying motivating force be the flame that keeps your desire burning to pursue your endeavors.  When you have motivation you are more propelled toward being better and doing more, and it shows up as success.

     So the next time you are up against the clock, remember time is only an illusion. Change your perception of time and it will be your ally -- let time be on your side. And don't forget FIM (Focus. Inspiration. Motivation.).

On This Note:  "If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader."

— John Quincy Adams

I hope this blog motivates at least one person to find their courage and start moving toward making their dream come true!

Please feel free to leave me a comment below and provide your feedback. I would love to hear from you.

5 Things I Do For Self-Love

I had been feeling a bit melancholy the past few days.  I don't know if it had to do with Mercury going direct sometime around last Tuesday morning (because that's when it started) or if it just had to do with the overly-sensitive nature of mine to absorb everything like a vacuum (so I've been told).  Whatever it was, I was in a tizzy over nothing I could actually pinpoint definitively.  What I did sense, however, was that all I really wanted was to feel love.  It seemed to me that I had slowly and gradually been separated from love, and I don't know when it actually started drifting away from me.  Again, having been through Mercury retro and now going direct, perhaps I was simply releasing all the energy built-up during those three weeks. Whatever it was, I felt depleted of love and I needed to refill. 

So after a crying spell that lasted a good part of the morning, I finally decided to simply allow myself to feel whatever it was and just go about my day with the presence of sadness looming over me, weighing me down emotionally.  I knew it was there, and I let it process, all the while doing my best to be cheery and positive.  So when my friend called me up to say it was Zumba night, I thought, "It might be good to get out."  Then, later on the feeling-sorry-for-myself part of me that was feeling absent of love, changed its mind and thought, "I don't think it's a good idea."  So there I was, my head and my heart were on two completely different planes. But, I knew what I had to do -- I put my best Zumba foot forward and went. Because that's what self-love is all about. 

In the mix, it hit me:  there are a few other things I find very consoling in times of dreary loveless moments that help me replenish the love that I thirst for.

My 5 Favorite Ways to Lift My Self-Love -- Higher & Higher!!

Dance, Sing (or both) My Heart Out

I went to Zumba that night.  Needless to say, even after the energetic dancing and jumping around to various salsa and quebradita latin music mixed with some old school Michael Jackson and The Gap Band, my heart was still tender.  But, the dancing certainly took my mind off my sadness for awhile, and I got a good work out, so it worked two-fold.  I love to dance and I love to sing -- and no matter how I'm feeling, when I do one of those two things, or simultaneously, I always end up with a smile on my face, and an increase of love in my heart. Tuning into your fun self is what it's all about here.  Mine is music that picks me up with dance and song. Tap into your song, you're heart will be feeling the love.

Connect to My Spiritual Self

Most people desire to connect to their spiritual self and many people do in their own way.  It's kind of sacred, and usually we don't like to share how or when we do it. And when someone does share it with us, it can sometimes feel like preaching.  So for most of us, it's a subject we keep mostly to ourselves.  But, taking some time to connect with your source is, to me, one of the best demonstrations of self-love.  I chant -- whether it's in Sanskrit, a kundalini mantra, some kirtan or a healing meditation -- just to re-connect to the center of my being and become one with my higher self.  If this is not your type of ritual, find something that can just help you center. I had an energy clearing the same night I was in Zumba, and let me tell you, the next day, the feelings of sadness and emotion disappeared, as if I had never been in that spell at all.  You can find this type of therapy, like reiki, angel attunements, etc., just make sure its from a true and trusting source. There is nothing more fulfilling or blissful than those moments of escape with my soul.  And when I return to my human state of consciousness, I am always, always surrounded by pure self-love.

Being Myself

We all have a quirkiness about us.  It's what makes you an individual, different from others.  It can be  a silly side of you that doesn't come out much anymore.  I do believe that silliness is a description for the character inside of us that likes to have fun, that loves all things free-born with the desire to just laugh and be happy no matter what others may think.  Allowing yourself to be quirky as part of your personality and character is your God-given right -- and if it's been lost, or altered, RECLAIM it!  It's who you are, and its a part of you to love and let others love you for it.  

Cooking My Favorite Dishes

Ahhhh, this so therapeutic for me.  Everyone knows the saying, "The way to the heart is through the stomach."  Cooking my favorites dishes always connects me to the heart of my culture, allows me to explore new tastes and smells, and I can show my family just how much I love them through their stomachs!  The recipes that have been handed down to me by my mom, and new ones I've picked up, whipped up by my own two hands and added my own special "sabores" gets me excited to cook for my family, and for me it's love all the way down to the last bite. Mm mm mm delicious!  Oh, and don't forget the vino!

Visit My Favorite Places

I would love to pack up and go whenever I get the urge   . . . but although I don't have the luxury of flying off to a hidden island (like the Seychelles) or a destination of wonder (like Macchu Picchu), I have another method to book a one-way ticket to paradise. I improvise with my imagination and travel to my favorite destination by daydreaming away.  Not imaginative enough? Okay maybe take a drive, or a walk to an area of tranquility or fun.  I used to love watering my garden while watching the butterflies flutter about the bright bed of flowers and green plants. Whatever moves you -- just do it for you!  Whether you wander into the unknown of your imagination, perhaps take a day trip to your favorite place, or a weekend getaway with a good book, taking off on your own can do the trick.  When you come back, you will love yourself for it!  Hasta la vista sadness, bien venido al AMOR! (Goodbye sadness, hello to love!)

So there you have it . . . my five ways to show me how much I love me . . . and when I love myself, others find it easier to love me, too.  My ways may not be your cup of tea, and I'm not trying to make you like them -- but I do want to tempt you into finding the things that shine love into your life. 

Before trying to find love in things or people, find it within you. 

There is an infinite well of love deep inside of you that is waiting to be drawn.  Once you discover your self-love, it will be easier to manage life when the going gets tough.  At least you'll have you and your heart to make it all better.  And not to mention, better prepared for the next Mercury retrograde . . .  uh-oh, I better get the Kleenex ready!

On This Note:  When your heart is heavy and full of grief remember you are a spark of pure and natural love.  You can shine once again.

I hope this blog motivates at least one person to find their courage and start moving toward making their dream come true!

Please feel free to leave me a comment below and provide your feedback. I would love to hear from you.

To Be (Happy) or Not To Be . . . That is the Question.

If you're wondering why some people seem happier than you (or maybe there is someone you have in mind who is always so miserable), its simply a matter of how we look at things.  As the saying goes: "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."

For an un-happy person, rising above the frustration, the worry, the blame, the guilt, the failure, the anger, the sadness all just seems like a very big leap to make, and hearing the words, sounding very clichè, "Think positive, things will get better" may even make it worse because those words are so overused in times of trouble and bad situations, they no longer hold value and their truth is diminished. "Easier said than done," they may think. Or is it?

All of the negative emotions described above are in fact fueled by how one thinks. These feelings arise out of how a person tends to perceive situations. If you want to prove it, next time something goes terribly wrong (in your mind) instead of bringing up all the negative emotions, catch yourself in the moment and think how you can approach it differently without the negative emotion tied to it -- breathe and separate yourself from any un-happy thoughts -- and calmly aim to resolve it or set it aside for another time when you may be more calm to find a solution. This approach invites peace, which leads to happiness.

HAPPINESS LIVES INSIDE YOU!

The reason we get entangled with un-happiness is because this is how we have been doing it for so long.  It has become an automatic response. Why?  Our brain has been trained to react with all the negative emotion -- so when something wrong or unexpected occurs the only way we know to face it is with the criteria we have built of attaching bad thoughts to the situation thus resulting in an un-happy experience.  Rather we should contemplate approaching our selves with love, kindness and compassion in order to change the negativity in our mind. At first you might think "This is ridiculous, I'm an adult, I can handle this like an adult without coddling my emotions."  But the truth is, handling it like an adult is about getting rid of all the negative-charged emotions (consider the behavior of a two-year old throwing a tantrum when they don't get what they want) and replacing them with positive-charged emotions like love, kindness, compassion, forgiveness, in order to assist you in achieving the Jump for Joy!  Pretty soon, it could be smooth sailing when it comes to being eternally happy (internally).

Here are a few suggestions to becoming happy . . .

Stop expecting the worst all the time. 

Even if you say you don't, lend it a thought for just a moment - if you ever anticipate outer circumstances which are out of your control may intervene with your good intention or that at the end of all your efforts something always gets in the way of  your success which stops you from even attempting - this kind of thinking is expecting the worst. Replace the worst with nothing, absolutely nothing. Stop anticipating an event that has not occurred yet; for all you know, it could turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to you - let it be. (When you first practice this, things won't change over night, but you will feel more at peace with things that don't go perfect in your eyes, simply because you are not letting yourself down anymore).

It's important to take responsibility for your actions and believe that you deserve to be happy.

This means that you are in charge of your happiness, of your success, of your quality of life because how you think you should be is how you will be. Others cannot be made responsible for your outcome, only their own, because you should not allow anyone else's behavior or thinking interfere with your mind - you control your mind with a heart of your own, through a Spirit of your own that naturally is loving, kind & compassionate.

Focus on what you have and be grateful for it instead of focusing on what you don't have and making yourself miserable.

To others, you may have what they want, just like you may look at some people and think why is it they have what you don't. The list in your head should be made up of all the wonderful stuff you have - immaterial stuff, as well as the comforts that make living easier. Toss away the list in your head of what you don't have, replace it with gratitude for what you already have. If you don't have good health, maybe you have good medical care; if you don't have many friends, maybe you have a beloved pet; if you don't have lots of money, maybe you have a roof over your head and a place to rest at night; if you don't have what you consider luxuries maybe you have the love of your family. You have treasures, too, if you decide to recognize them for yourself.

Put yourself in someone else's shoes.

Have compassion & respect for all living beings, whether you like them or not. When you walk a mile in another's shoes, you get to feel how worn out they truly are. Everyone is carrying around their own baggage and we should not be weighing others down with ours.  And if possible take some of the weight off them if you have already managed to make yours a little lighter. Being kind is free, you can do it with a smile, lending a hand, doing someone a favor - even if that person can't return the gesture, understand they just might be overwhelmed with all their baggage to the point of exhaustion so they aren't able to appreciate you just now, but you will certainly feel the joy of giving selflessly.

This too means being kind towards animals & to the environment - love the world you live in back, because it shows you everyday how much it loves you by its natural beauty. If you don't see the beauty of the world, then you are sadly not treating it right.

At the end of the day, you have choices to make. Keep yourself centered in the moment, and before you decide to get mad, get even or give up in frustration, think of all the possibilities out there if you simply change the emotion and choose with love, kindness and compassion - it could turn out better than you EVER expected!!

On This Note: In the depths of your soul lies the desire to love and to be happy; within you breathes a Spirit to help you live it.

I hope this blog motivates at least one person to find their courage and start moving toward making their dream come true!

Please feel free to leave me a comment below and provide your feedback. I would love to hear from you.